Funerlol - Michael Jackson's Fantasy Funeral

With obituary mode in full swing across the mainstream press, the R520 picks up the moral gauntlet and swings it haphazardly at Mr. Jackson's recently carved headstone.



Everyone knows that Hack-a-Jack Wacko Jackson probably had the craziest life lived by anyone in the last century of 100 years - changing skin colour, years of impersonating a sick woman, fathering children with a completely different set of genes to his own - and yet, at the end of it all you can't help but deny that the wackness out-weighs the jackness. Once the King of Pop and idolised by yours truly (the Pope), Jackson's persona will be more easily remembered through gags and laughs than a deep, solemn respect for his musicosity.

If you think otherwise, you're a moron who hates funny.

Which leads me to think that his funeral is going to be equally as outrageous and comical as his latter years. No matter how hard people try, no matter how mournful they may try to be, the world's media is going to point their cameras at them and we're going to laugh at the absurdity, the back-tracking, and the ridiculously rhetorical. But most importantly, Michael Jackson's fans will make or break this funeral.




So without further ado, the R520 presents "FUNERLOL", the world's first (and possibly only) Michael Jackson Fantasy Funeral. This is a chance to guestimate how truly, wonderfully absurd this event will be. Please e-mail ther520team@gmail.com with your choice OF THREE from the following options, as a means of telling us what you think will happen during the funeral. That, or stick them in the comments below.

The user with the most points will win a Patrick Moore photograph signed by the R520 members, plsu some Michael Jackson memorabilia (I swear they're his underpants!) Points are weighted against the likely hood of the event. So play it safe, or GO FOR R520 GOLD!

a) When the coffin arrives at the church/Neverland, at least one nut-job fan will dive on the car bonnet. - 3pts

b) Before the body arrives, we will see at least one clip of a Jacko fan in full regalia (glove, hat, white socks) doing a wonderful pop-and-lock Jacko routine, while equally desperate fans cheer around him. - 2pts



c) Paula Abdul turns up drunk - 4pts

d) There will be at least one animal on display -2pts

e) This animal may or may not be dressed up as another animal -6pts

f) The pall bearers will moon-walk the coffin up the aisle - 6pts

g) The funeral will end to the sound of Jackson's song "Leave Me Alone" -7pts

h) The sacristan will get the track number wrong, and instead play the next track on the "Bad" album, and the funeral will end to the sound of "Liberian Girl". -8pts



i) Jackson's Dad will charge the priest a fee to say the sermon. -1pts

j) Justin Timberlake will cry the whole time -4pts

k) Elizabeth Taylor will make a speech - 3pts

l) and will think she's at a Nelson Mandela tribute gig - 10pts

m) Macaulay Culkin will be present - 2 pts

n) The Coffin will be in the shape of Michael Jackson - 10pts

o) There will be a minute silence in which someone will shout out a traditional Jacko "Oww!" - 8pts

p) Someone will commit suicide at or near the funeral site. - 10pts

q) The funeral will be sponsored by O2 - 30pts

r) A helicopter will make an appearance - 5pts

s) Bubbles will be in a tuxedo - 12pts

t) Toward the end of the funeral, a tank will roll onto the alter and a soldier will get out and hold a gun to Jacko's head, only for MJ's face to reduce him to tears. - You win teh prize

Additional options may be posted in the near future. But start guessing!

Public Enemies - A Review

GLTFA.com got to see the Irish premiere (and one of the world's firsts) of Michael Mann's new film, "Public Enemies".

Doesn't sound too hot, by the sound of it's sounds.

Old Man Dies in Park After Falling from Bicycle

A 62-year old man has died today in Dublin city centre after falling from his bicycle. The man, aged 62, was last heard mumbling "This won't do" as his body tumbled from the bike in a hysterical mess, and decided to arrange his corpse in a neat fashion upon landing, so as not inconvenience his family and expediate his burial.

The immediate family were called to the accident to identify the 62 year-old man and to confirm that his trouser, tie, and short-sleeve shirt were appropriate attire for a summer funeral for the 62 year-old.

Details will be given later today as to the exact cause of who spilled my yogurt drink at lunch.

The R520 Twitter Spasm

The R520 has blasted rockets into Web 2.4 Realms by entering into the mind-fest of Twitter Land. Bored with the everyday approach of aiming larynx vibrations at humoid ears, the R520 members have decided to binarise their fingers taps and directed them at corneas of world-fillers space-wide.


Follow the neural-tweets of many-a-man at twitter.com/R520

Father Collins Park Clongriffin

I wanted to link to this album now, to show that members of the public should be allowed enjoy a new public park before some seasonal politician gets to open it on a week day while the rest of us are in work...

The new Father Collins park in Clongriffin has shaped up really well. What used to be tufts of over-growth filled with burned-out cars and mopeds has turned into a new self-sustaining eco-recreation zanafroid, with pendulous energy swings.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/dr_faulk/sets/72157618702546824/

A lot of the flora has been preserved around the edges, which is home to fauna (mainly hares). The water system has been designed to be home to water wildlife.

Also, annual update lol

Adam and Joe "Videowars" Entry

Unsexy update: we didn't win the competition. =(

Man wears thong; children see the world for what it is

The BBC report of a David Batchelor (I wonder if he's married?) who wandered about his property wearing only a thong that was put on backwards, 'which left his genitals partly exposed', while large groups of children passed by. No one bothered asking any of the children for any words their brains might have pushed through their gobs to describe the incident or how they felt, but one twit said, "The witnesses were alarmed by his actions and concerned for the children who had passed."

When asked to comment on his actions, Mr. Batchelor said, 'I don't know. I was just feeding the birds...'

Chuck Talk, of the Children's Organisation against Criminal Kicks (C.O.C.K.) laments the fact that this is a regular occurance about residential estates situated near schools. "It's hard to take, but there's a certain psychology that seeps into the locals who see kids on a daily basis." Talk believes it goes further. "The kids are a regular sight, like the trees , and these people think they can do what they like around them. But there's a difference between kids and trees. For example, you wouldn't rip off a kid's hand and wipe your ass with it. This is one of the things that the government need to education people on."

In other news, it's my last day in work! Yipee!